23rd April

Keeping promises…

Posted in General at 9:21 pm by Visez

Everybody’s got their cross to bear… I got mine about three years ago, when breaking up with my ex-girlfriend at the end of what still is my longest relationship so far. I’m not going to go into details, but it wasn’t exactly a clean breakup - and admittedly, it was mostly my fault.

Sometimes it’s not what you do, but how you do it… and despite my best intentions, I caused her a lot of pain. From her point of view, I guess all she could see was me slamming the door shut in her face. It took me about one and a half years to realise this, and the considerable quantities of intoxicating substances I ingested didn’t really have the purifying effect I was hoping for. Nor did the flings I had after that 30th of July take her out of my mind.

All we did afterwards was to write one yearly e-mail for each other’s birthday, as if we were nothing but remote acquaintances. But there was still one feeble thread that linked us together: when breaking up, we promised each other we would have met again at the end of university - one of those epic gestures I used to do all the time.

That time has come. I know, I’m not technically done with my course, but the point was that we would have waited for three years before seeing each other again. It was a strange feeling…. you know, you keep on imagining something in your head thousands of times over until you think you know exactly what you are going to do for anything that might happen, and then that time comes and you find yourself completely clueless on what to do or say.

So, there I was, on the 19th of April, ready for the usual birthday email. But this time I added to the usual happy birthday one-liner another line about a promise that a young (and very different) Marco made three years ago. All I want is a coffee together, and the opportunity to say that I still have a beautiful memory of our time together and that I behaved like a complete idiot. And, obviously, to know that she’s well. Hell, I’m not going to do anything foolish, we are two completely different people right now… but I think it’s a very nice feeling to know that a person that has been very important for you will always preserve a good memory of the time spent together. Plus, I don’t think I like blondes anymore .

Surprisingly enough, she replied. She knows that I’m in Japan (news travel fast and you just cannot escape the UWC network), she will graduate this June and, yes, apparently she is going to keep our promise when I get back - three years and two months after I saw her last. So… I’m ready to book a plane to Zagreb one last time, October is going to be the time for a home-made version of Before Sunset. Quite possibly with a different ending.

Per gli italiani e soprattutto per Anna, Zuco e Giorgia nel caso mi leggessero: prometto di non fare cazzate, tranquilli …

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